Divorce and Remarriage: Does God Hate Divorce?

For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. (Malachi 2:16 KJV)

Anyone that has engaged the topic of marriage, divorce and remarriage (MDR) has either heard or used this verse. In most cases, from my perspective, it is misused. Many anti MDR advocates will throw out the phrase "God hates divorce" to prove that divorce and remarriage is a sin. As will be demonstrated in this blog, that is misleading at best. 

Does Malachi 2:16 teach that God hates divorce? Furthermore, does it teach that divorce is a sin? Ultimately does it teach that all remarriage is sinful? I am going to argue in this blog post that the answer to each of the above questions is no. 

God Hates Divorce

I will be refuting that "God hates divorce" is either a biblical phrase or means that divorce is sinful. Firstly I am going to deal with the idea that it means that divorce is sinful. Secondly I will deal with whether or not it is a biblical statement. 

Is Divorce Sinful?

Does the phrase "God hates divorce" based on Malachi 2:16 teach that divorce is sinful? The answer is, no! Then what could it possibly mean? Am I saying that God actually likes divorce? The phrase neither means that God likes divorce nor that divorce is sinful. Like many issues, its not as simple as an either-or. Many times there is a third, or even fourth option. Such is the case here.

"God hates divorce" cannot mean that all divorce is sinful. How can I say that with such confidence? Because God himself divorced his wife Israel (Jeremiah 3:8). If all divorce is sinful, then it was a sin for God to initiate his divorce. This would add a whole new layer to the Could Jesus Sin? debate. No one will claim that God sinned. Therefore, whatever Malachi 2:16 means it cannot mean that all divorce is sinful. 

So what could the phrase possibly mean? For anyone to say that they hate something does not mean that they think the thing they hate is immoral. The following is an extreme example: I hate anchovies. This by no means suggests that I think eating anchovies are immoral. It just means that I don't like them. Obviously God's hatred for divorce is much more significant than my hatred for a tiny fish. But the point is that we often hate things at are morally neutral. We even hate things that are morally good. Does anyone besides me hate to pay bills? Does anyone besides me hate to correct your kids? While we hate to do them, they are necessary actions. If Malachi 2:16 teaches that God hates divorce, then I would argue that while he hated it, it was a necessary and moral response an unrepentant adulterous wife. As a divorced man, I can say truthfully that I hate divorce. I can say confidently that I—and others who have suffered divorce—hate divorce more than those who have never been divorced. 

What Malachi 2:16 Actually Says

Malachi 2:16 does not say as is often quoted that "God hates divorce." It says God hates "putting away." There is a difference between "divorce" and "putting away". I am going to introduce a concept here that I will flesh out in more detail in later blogs. I realize that this concept will be strange and difficult for many of my readers to wrap their heads around. But I ask that you open your mind and consider what I am about to say.

The argument for the distinction between "divorced" and "put away" is found in Deuteronomy 24:1:

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. (Deuteronomy 24:1 KJV)

Notice carefully the progression in this text: write her a bill of divorcement, and give it into her hand, and send her out of his house. The bill of divorcement is separate and distinct from sending out (putting away). It is possible to put away one's spouse without divorcing them. And men in Israel were doing just that. When they put away their wives without a bill divorcement, they were putting them in a position that they could not remarry. And if they did remarry they would be guilty of adultery. So Moses commanded them to not just put them away but to also give them a bill of divorcement (Matthew 19:7). If she received a bill of divorcement when she was put away then she was free to remarry (Deuteronomy 24:2). 

Can you see the injustice of putting away a woman and not giving her a bill of divorcement? Yes? So did God. When the men of Israel put away their wives with out divorcing them God said they were dealing "treacherously" with their wives (Malachi 2:14). God hated putting away without a bill of divorcement—not divorce. Now you know why I stated earlier that it is misleading to say that "God hates divorce." So, does God hate divorce? I am sure he does in the sense that it broke his heart that Israel was unfaithful. But that was not the issue that Malachi 2:16 was addressing. So the answer is, the Bible never states that God hates divorce!

Is all Sin Equal: The Greater Sin

We often hear people say things like, "there are no big sins and little sins," or "one sin is not bigger than the other; all sin is the same." While that has a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling to it, it is not true. This type of rhetoric is frequently used by people attempting to justify themselves or someone they know. It has been used repeatedly in defense of Bishop Eddie Long. I don't know if he is guilty or not, but if he is, what he has done is especially egregious.

How many times have I read bloggers saying that what Bishop Eddie Long has allegedly done is no different than lying? Again, make no mistake about it, I am NOT saying that Bishop Long is guilty; I pray for he and his family everyday. I pray that if he is innocent that God vindicates him, and if he is not innocent that God judges him as He sees fit, not according to the secular, anti-Christian and gay activists that are bent on his demise.

I want to dispel this idea for the honest mind. The scripture is clear, not all sin is viewed the same by God. Not only is all sin not equally offensive to God, but not all sin is equally judged by God. This assertion is empty without proof, so I will begin with a plain text and go from there.

"Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to release thee? 11 Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin." John 19:10-11 KJV

Very clearly Jesus said that Pilate committed a lesser sin than the ones who had brought Jesus to him; they committed the greater sin. The inequality of sin could not be more succinctly affirmed than this. I cannot imagine how this language could possibly be explained away.

"Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men." Matthew 12:31 KJV

The fact that a specific sin will not be forgiven, while all others will be forgiven, demonstrates the inequality of sin. If all sin were equal, then all sin would be forgivable. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is a greater sin than all other forms of blasphemy.

Abominations were and are especially grievous to God. "Six things doth the LORD hate; yea, seven are an abomination to him (Proverbs 6:16)." This text is not saying that these seven sins are the only ones God hates, but that God has a special hatred for these 7 sins.

"If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it. 17 All unrighteousness is sin: and there is a sin not unto death." 1 John 5:16-17 KJV

The Apostle John says that there are some sins that are not unto death, and other sins that are unto death; there are sins that should be prayed for and sins that should not be prayed for. Where is the equality in that?

Not only does God view some sins with more disgust than others, He also judges some sins more harshly than He does others. This is readily manifest by the fact that not all sins in the Old Testament were punishable by death. Obviously the sins punishable by death were considered greater sins than the ones not punishable by death. Not only is this an Old Testament law concept, it is also a New Testament concept taught by Jesus.

"And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more." Luke 12:47-48 KJV

There are cases where many stripes are deserved and cases where few stripes are deserved. Obviously not an equality of judgment.

"Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. 22 But I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the day of judgment, than for you. 23 And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted unto heaven, shalt be brought down to hell: for if the mighty works, which have been done in thee, had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. 24 But I say unto you, That it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for thee." Matthew 11:21-24 KJV

It will me "more tolerable" in the day of judgement for Tyre, Sidon and Sodom than for Chorazin, Bethsaida and Capernaum. Whatever the day of judgement refers to is immaterial; the point made is that God will judge certain cities more severely than others.

I cannot conclude this blog without also saying that however great the sin is, God has a greater grace!